Hello there!
Hey, you don't have to duck away?
Everything is closed. Do you have a telephone? -Yes
Would you like to do something for me? -Of course.
Call 13 26 62 4 and ask for Marcella.
Tell her I'll be right there. In the meantime we'll also pick up the others.
You still know the number? It's very easy:
13, double that: 26, turn it around: 62, and a 4.
13 26 62 4 and tell Marcella that he is on his way.
Who is coming? I don't even know his name!
Excuse me!
Did you call?
No, please come upstairs, you can make the call yourself then.
Good idea. Which flat? -Four.
Keep an eye on my car. Strange people are walking around on Assumption...
Number four right? I'll be up in a jiffy!
Coming!
Should I have called myself? I don't even know who he is.
With an excuse...
But no!
Isn't the bell working?
Sorry, but everything is closed. Rome looks like a graveyard.
Bruno Cortona. -Roberto Mariani.
Whoops, I'm soiling everything.
I'll be gone right away. Just one moment.
You're a student right?
"Rescission of a contract" The civil code. Whacker of a book.
Do you study law? -Yes, final-year student.
Who's this fatty? -Eh... it's my mother.
Wow, beautiful woman. The cunt doesn't pick up the phone anymore.
We fixed a date for eleven and half-past eleven she's already gone.
I should have stayed in Amalfi. A two and a half hours drive!
All the way from Amalfi?
Yes, including a ten-minute pit stop to change the sparking plugs.
I look like shit! Sorry for the mess.
If.. -Did you say something?
If you like to freshen up... -Yes please. Many thanks.
Do you also have a cigarette? -No, I don't smoke.
Too bad!
Look, the bathroom... -I'll find it.
So you don't smoke?
You'd better watch my smoke! Say, nice bathroom fittings.
The invalidity of a case file is distinguished from the nullification,
because the judge can cancel the first one, whereas...
the nullification can only be cancelled by the interested party...
I should warn that the planchette is loose.
Darn! -There we go!
I broke the planchette. -Don't worry about it.
Sorry! It was only stuck on with slobber.
Who's there?
Nobody is there.
So what?
It's only the porter.
I also knew they were gone. -Who, friends of yours?
No, I don't really know them.
Are you living alone here?
Yes, my parents live in Rieti.
If I see the city this deserted, I just get mad. Don't you?
Well, no. It's good for studying! -For studying, yes.
You wasted a lot of time because of me. -Hell no, ..
I have to go. Maybe I'll end up at my mother's place.
Thanks for everything. -Goodbye.
Don't study too hard!
By the way, are you sitting inside studying all day?
Yes, the exam will be due September and I'm not on schedule.
But this day is a feast-day. Working won't pay then, says my mother.
Could be right. I didn't do much yet.
Because of me! Let me offer you an aperitif.
That is, if we find an open bar.
That's not necessary. -You also don't drink?
Don't insist. -Why not? Please!
The keys! -I have them here.
I saw them hanging. Guess who I saw in Amalfi?
Jackie Kennedy!
Don't look: forbidden to turn into!
Never stop. They won't be able to fine you then. What kind of a lawyer are you?
Rebell, you slave! Turn loose the dogs! Born to serve!
It's already almost one. Where would you like to eat?
At home.
I just saw that there are only two eggs and one lemon in your fridge.
Let's eat something and then I'll take you back home.
Just around the corner close to the Saint-Peter's there's a very good trattoria.
It's not that I don't want to, but...
Indulge yourself for once! It just like we're running on three cylinders.
And nothing to smoke. Rome is paralysed. Drives me crazy.
What kind of excuse can I make up?
Having lunch with him! I don't even know him!
There is not a single reason...
Just tell me if you don't want to.
How come I wouldn't want to? But Ì will pay.
We'll share the bill. It's not cheap, but really good.
What do you mean, "closed"? -You cannot eat.
Don't we deserve a free day from time to time?
Deserve? You deserve bollocks!
I'm sorry for them, but I won't ever be coming there again!
No problem. Just drive me home.
Hell no, we're going to Ernestino, kilometre marker 13.
That's too far for me.
Why, too far? A four minute's drive with the car. Wanna bet?
I have fallen into the hands of a madman.
Are you afraid? -Me? No Sir, you're driving very well.
Are you still saying "Sir"? We have been properly introduced by now!
Good. Thank you.
That one indicates too little.
You want to go faster? At full throttle?
Drive carefully. I'm waiting for you.
Nice chick, don't you think?
There should be beautiful Etruskian grave mounds in the neighbourhood here.
Oh really?
I don't care too much about grave mounds.
Giddy-up!
Watch out, the traffic police, Stop speeding like that.
You thought it better to leave grandpa at home?
Those fine Italian families!
Have a nice trip!
"I carried here to the river, thinking she was a girl. But she was married."
I know that by heart. I played the record on the road.
What's the name again: The Unfaithful Bride. By that Spaniard...
Garcia Lorca. -Ah, you also have that record?
Put this one on: Mudugno.
I'm not really fond of poëtry. I prefer music.
This one for example is a very powerful track. Mystic! That sets one thinking.
I adore Modugno. That man really desoriëntates me!
It all looks so simple but in the meantime is has éverything:
solitude, failure to communicate and... what is so fashionable...
alienation! Like in Antonioni's movies.
Dit you see 'L'Elisse' ? -Yes, that movie...
I slept during the movie. Good sleep-inducing drug, that Antonioni.
Near Terracina I saw a Lancia Flaminia. I was all eyes.
Look that one shoving off.
Hold the stir for a moment.
What do you think? Did they see it?
Those people with their legs dangling outside the car!
I'll buy a big pair of scissors once, and *snock*!
Protection of the landscape.
Hey, Roberto, look behind you. Did you see them?
Who? -Those two chicks.
I'll have myself passed and then I'll stick right behind them.
Hello cuties! Deutschland! Those German chicks sure are something!
Do you speak German? -No, I just make believe.
Hello darling!
The one on the right was looking at you. -At me?
Why not?
You've made an impression! I'll sacrifice myself and take the other one.
Divinely food is served here! What shall we do with those two? Let them go?
Whatever you like, I'm not that hungry.
That's manly language! And the food here stinks: donkey-legs and fig-wine.
Shall we chase those Germans?
Propter gummam deflagratam, pedibus calcantibus sumus.
Elevator nobis necesse est.
What does he want?
He speaks Latin and wants to know if we have a carjack.
How do you say we don't have one? -Non habemus.
Non habemus carjack, desolatus. Now we lost those chicks.
Crossroads!
Which way would they be heading to? -Let me smell.
This way! I'm a truffle-hound when it comes to women!
Those brakes aren't good. I want to get disc brakes.
What did I tell you? Just trust Bruno!
Here, try on this little hat.
Miss Trudy von Almen. Hey, a drag.
I guess I may confiscate this one.
But this is a private home!
So what? We enter and ask for miss Trudy. Come on!
And then we carry them to the river,
thinking they were girls...
Hey Roberto, cool it down for a moment.
There they are.
Don't we know a Bohms from Badgastein?
It's certainly not thát one.
What shall we do? Wait outside?
Come, let's go. You're taking it too far this time.
Maybe you're right. Bruno can be wrong sometimes.
Look Trudy, they are leaving.
Thank God! -Pitty.
Those strange Italians: first they chase you, and then suddenly they're gone.
They could at least have taken us out to eat!
1944, I hadn't been born yet than. -I had, but what could I do about it?
Look at him with his sandwich?
Damn, that makes me hungry!
Food! Food! But do you eat at home on a day like today?
Can you drive? -No.
Well, ain't you a savage! It's very easy.
Most important is the place of your hands, like the pointers of a clock.
I will explain. Four-wheeler advises twenty to three...
...but I'd rather keep it on a quarter past twelve. That is...
But you never use the minute hand!
You dó have a sense of humour... Look, a helicopter.
Hi!
I am saying hello!
Well, we've had that one..
Could you tell me where you're taking me?
Don't you trust me?
What has trust got to do with it? It is already two o'clock!
Within half an hour we'll reach Civitavecchia, wse'll take a fish soup there..
... to be home at five again. You still want to study then?
I'm thinking about you too. You should also return in time.
There's nothing I like more than driving my car. It reposes me.
There or back, if only i'm driving!
It resembles being in England. -Because of the landscape?
Nee, we're constantly driving on the left side.
Good boy! So small and already so keen!
Look here! Now that is a fine mess!
Could you give me the number of your boss? I would like to have a word with him.
I'm buying up these damaged goods, you see?
Ouch, damn!
Here I am officer! What's up? -No parking here!
I'll put it aside right away. I just wanted to lend a hand. Sorry officer.
Our helicopter just passed on the details of your car.
You are in breach of the law: speeding and illegal overtaking.
Member of Parliament
Did you want to say something? -Me? No, nothing.
Just put it there, I'll be joining you in a minute.
At your command, officer. Bologna is a nice town, right?
This year they won't snatch your cup anymore!
Refridgerators is really your business? -Yes, that's my line of business.
It's good business now. If the market is saturated, I'll do something else.
I already had some ten professions. If tomorrow antique will be booming...
... I'll rummage the countryside and discover an 18th century cupboard.
If paintings are good business, I'll wangle myself a Guttuso. Etcetera.
And in case of a nuclear attack you'll rent bunkers! -Certainly!
Watch that Giro-rider being out of breath...
Get yourself a Vespa!
Should I push you? You want to hook up?
Whatever you like! Don't be home too late!
Cycling... -Just throw a bomb on these fellows!-
... it's no good to me. Never liked it. I feel it's unaesthetic:
those thick calves! Better play billiards then.
Let the horses drink!
Dog of six legs, faithful friend of mankind on four wheels.
Petrol, fill her up! -Ok.
Give lift to Grosetto? -Me sorry: us is going to Rome.
You opposite direction! Sorry! Get lost, paleface.
Do they sell cigarettes here? -There's a vending machine in the bar.
Thanks.
Shall we drink something?
Hi darkies!
Why did you say I do everything wrong?
Oh, just like that. For example when you had me coming up, what were you studying?
Was it mè having yóu come up? Nullity and nullification.
That's what I mean: what is it good for? stuff of hundreds of years ago.
Maybe even thousands.
If you would only study.... space law!
Space law?
Yes, two spaceships collide: who should pay?
Or could one buy a piece of land on the moon? Do you understand?
Would be nice: if Krutchev would go there, he'd find broker's offices all around!
Come Roberto, smoke!
Doesn't it work? -Try again.
It still doesn't return anything. Damn!
What a misery, this mechanisation.
This way you'll demolish it. -Do you think it's working nów?
What a machine! A swindler's machine!
Hold on.
What are you doing?
Here, there's your money back. -And the cigarettes?
It's not working.
It's not working! What a misery! I'll teach that thing..!
I want to smoke goddamnit. -Have you turned mad?
You're not smoking, don't you?
Here, your carkeys.
What if I ám doing everything wrong? Even Valeria asked, when I...
... talked to her at the university, why I had chosen law.
But no, I am not doing anything wrong! Space law! Where does he get it from!
Could you borrow me 3000 lire? -Sure.
Now I understand. He is the type that lives on borrowed money.
He won't get a single lire from me anymore!
That makes 5000 that I owe you. -No, 3000.
Plus de 2000 that you're lending me now if that's ok with you?
Two Cynar pure. I'm paying for the aperitif!
I don't want that. -That's why you accompanied me in the first place right?
I would like to wash my hands.
Where is the toilet? -Left at the back.
Left at the back, Come on, or are you ashamed?
What are you doing? Are you on guard? -No, it's occupied!
Is somebody there?
Pull, don't push.
Occupied! Just a moment please.
I carried her to the river, thinking she was...
I'll wait for you at the bar. ...thinking she was a girl.
82 kilo! I'm 1,87 tall...
so I can have another 5 kilos. -for all I care.
How much do you weigh? -Hundred kilo.
Do you smoke? -No, thank you.
The Cynars are ready! -Thank you.
Didn't we meet before? -I don't think so.
Yes, we did. Do you know where?
At the cigarette vending machine, just a moment ago!
Go ahead, Excellency.
Roberto?
Héy? Aren't you feeling well? -No, no.
Please hurry up a bit. People are waiting, even an Excellency.
I can't come out. -What do you say? I can't hear you.
De doorknob broke off.
My friend is locked up inside here.
Please give me a hand. No, not you, Excellency.
Hey, Roberto, we're gonna pull, you must push.
Alright, grab that doorknob. One, two, three.
You're not pushing! Push!
Are you locked up inside there for half an hour without daring to call for help?
He is shy, Excellency. Go ahead. If you hold the door for a moment...
I'm first.
I also was shy when I was a small boy. I was getting extra lessons from a teacher.
Rosa Maltini was her name. Not Maltoni.
One night, I put my hand in her decolletage.
She looked at me with an expression...
...that made me blush like a paprika. Like a paprika, I swear.
Also that women killer, Lundru, was very shy.
Are we taking the garbage along? Look at that poor devil running.
Why are you doing that? What is the fun in that?
Just like that, to have a laugh.
You want to give him a ride?
Ahead, workers of the earth!
Let him sit in the middle.
Are you going to sell your eggs, grandpa? -No, I bought them.
The old chap is funny! Nice profile as well.
Excuse me, couldn't you throw away that cigar?
Why? -There's nothing left of it.
It will last at least till tonight. -I guess you don't have any cigarettes?
They stink.
This looks like a joke, but I'm not smoking since this morning
Thank you. Could you give me a light? Better than nothing.
Can't this car drive any faster?
Ah, you want to go faster? -Why not?
Damn, it won't light. I'll show you something.
Watch your Borsalino, grandpa. You like racing?
Some music to it?
Roberto, put this one on for this yokel.
He adores modern music. -I love Mina!
Stop for a moment, I have to get out. Maybe because of that cigar.
You want out? Are you sick?
Go. Those students!
Should I hold your head? Let me taste one of these eggs.
Why is he travelling when he can't stand it? -No clue. He wanted to come.
You can't park here: it's a no-parking zone.
That one has already been fined.
Who cares.
The fine.. there we go.
If drivers don't help eachother anymore...
Are you already feeling better? -Not really yet.
A tastily fish soup will recover you.
I'm coming! We're already waiting for half an hour!
Everything alright here? -Yes, yes.
Are you alone? -No, with a friend.
Good.
Good! Did you make that? -I make everything here, including the salad.
That sauce! You've got magic hands! And not only the hands!
Please sit down now sir.
Not a regular type... but still a kind one.
Would you like to pick out? -Yes, thank you.
Open your mouth! -Why?
C'mon, trust Bruno. Snap!
Do you like fish soup? -No.
You'll have to eat it anyway, it has already been ordered.
That beautiful lady in the kitchen, is that your mother?
No, she's the chef. -She must be 50 but she's acting like a girl.
And you, black-eyed beauty, how you're doing? A wild type.
Do you have a girlfriend? -Why?
No? -There is one, but...
Is she living just across your house? -How do you know that?
When the porter was there this morning...
... I understood somebody is living there that interests you.
Is she sweet?
Show me. -I dó think she is sweet.
You can't see anything on this! Couldn't you take it from closer?
I photographed her on the sly, from the window.
Tell me, did you ever talk to her?
Óne time, at the university. -Ónly once? I can't figure you out.
Why don't you date her every day?
How can I start something with her? I will have to finish my studies first,
find a job, and then...
But in the meantime you could go out and sleep with her?
Maybe it will be over within one month!
You don't have to commit yourself?
We're not living in the Middle Ages anymore!
Not bad, right? I'll make a move later on.
I had an opportunity to talk to her once, but something unpleasant happened then.
Once I was walking on the Via Salaria. You know, with all those...
Of course. There is a brunette there that drives me wild:
Aida, 3000 lire.
I had stopped walking, or eh, she stopped me.
I said I had no money and guess who's passing by?
Well who? -Shé, Valeria, with her sister.
So what?
And then? -What do you mean "and then"? She saw me!
You're ashamed because now she knows you don't have any money.
Is that really all? I was expecting quite something.
If you only had discovered that...
Valeria and her sister walk the streets.
Food! It's good.
I'll go to sea once.
Why don't you give anything? -I'm against it.
One sip? No? Forbidden?
Which order do you belong to, sisters?
De spiritual daughters of Santa Rosalia.
Never heard of it! Did you, buddy?
Goodbye, sisters. I kiss your hand. Nice, innit?
I'm joking, but I really enjoy talking to sisters.
If they meet someone who's interested and asks questions,
it's really an adventure for them. They tell it to the other sisters.
Those sisters are strong. Eat!
Oops! that lousy wine. Talcum powder!
Why not, it will come out directly.
If not you'll keep a stain. Show me.
You're also wearing an interlock? You sure are a wild type.
Give it to me. It will be gone in a minute like this. Tell me, ain't this also an inn?
Yes. -Can you rest here for a moment?
Definitely, I'll tell the chef. -That's the way, little Blackeye!
You know what I'll do?
I'll go to the room, ask for a bottle of mineral water,
she'll bring it and in about half an hour we can leave again. Alright?
You can come as well, when I'm finished. Or don't you want to?
No!
Sorry, ma'am. -Yes please?
My friend, the big man... -That nice fellow! He's asleep.
Could you tell him that I am visiting some family in the neighbourhood here?
Should he wait?
No, I'll be going back to Rome with my family.
Good. Have a nice trip. Goodbye.
It wasn't me! You're all wrong!
To Rome, how much would that cost? -450 lire.
Help, they stole my suitcase!
It's brown, with a rope around it!
Is this the one? -That one is mine!
I saw somebody walking with a suitcase like that...
No, he's mistaking. That one was green and didn't have a rope around it.
But I saw it, Bruno. I swear!
Are you crazy?
You want to sit at the police station all day?
The warden told me about that family of yours.
Couldn't you wait? I'll take you there. Where are they living?
In the neighbourhood of Grosetto. But that's just around the corner!
That's enough. I'll tell him it was an excuse to get rid of him.
Admit: you wanted to dump me. Tell the truth.
Me? No! But you were together with her, so I had to take a bus.
I didn't want to disturb you.
Disturb?
Listen up Roberto...
... there are some things that are hard to explain for me, because I'm so tight-lipped.
But I know you for a few hours now.
When I heard that you were gone, I felt sorry.
Not that I fancy men. You're not my type at all!
I need to put a tubule on the exhaust.
So how did it turn out with that maid? -That was nothing.
I gave her a kiss and she started screaming and scratching immediately!
So that was hopeless, but the chef could fix me some cigarettes!
How is it possible that you don't manage to arrange something with her?
The chef was just fine, but she...
I think you would have made it though.
She was in love with you. That was clear to me when soup was served.
You were getting the thickest shrips!
Have a nice day!
Until ten years ago I was staying here every year.
As soon as I arrived, I ran through the whole house...
... from cellar to attic.
And afterwards uncle Michele showed me the new foal.
Are you still fond of that uncle?
Yes, even more than my father at the time.
A handsome man, always cheerful. He made everybody laugh.
Aunt Enrica, his wife, adored him! She ate him with her eyes.
See that, over there? It's the new bathing fashion.
And if you were here, with whom were you in love?
With nobody. Why?
At that age you're always in love aren't you?
Yes, I was in love with aunt Lidia. She was 20 back then.
Did she notice?
One day, she was reading in a sleeveless dress. That's when...
... you covered her! -No!
You see!
No, I said: "I want to marry you".
But then it's an obsession: when you were a little boy you already wanted to get married. You're ill!
She started to laugh. She called me, but I ran away.
I was ashamed and hid myself in an old cupboard, between the blankets.
I was reeking of mothballs for three days.
It's up there!
Don't honk!
Maybe they are still asleep! -So what?
Look at this farmland. I sign up for living here.
Young gentleman Roberto! -Occhiofino, how are you?
How nice to see you again!
I am really happy. -This is Occhiofino.
Pleased to meet you. Very honoured.
What a surprise! I will tell your uncle and aunt.
That Occhiofino! How often he had me sitting on his arm.
I trust you on that one. I had never seen a countryqueen before.
I beg you pardon? -Don't tell me you didn't know?
It's crystal-clear! Why else would they call him Occhiofino?
Just like this... a nickname.
And what a nickname: Occhiofino: finocchio (faggot).
Robertino!
Uncle Michele! Watch out for that stone, right?
Aunt Enrica!
How nice to see you again.
May I present to you:
Cortona... very honoured, madam. Pleased to meet you.
Please come upstairs.
For what do these serve? -For the water outlet.
Ah, for the sewer. Interesting.
You still have raven black hair. You must be from Spanisch descent?
My mother came from Barcelona.
Barcelona has a lot to answer for! Your grandma must have horsed around with a bullfighter.
Nice walnut.
Look here.
What? -The Mount Fumaiolo.
I care as much about that as about those Etruskian grave mounds.
Your uncle keeps a bit in the background, or am I mistaking?
Nice room!
You could have written from time to time!
A rascal, that nephew of yours!
And your dad? Is he still that stubborn? -Yes, still.
Considering he was such a promising boy.
When visiting us you always ran through all the rooms; do you remember?
Of course, that's what he told me. Come on, go run through the house!
Nice lad. Doctor, shall we go to the salon?
Gladly. Nice stuff here. Madam's dowry!
Second part of the 19th century. I bet you don't want to sell anything, right?. Family possession!
Aunt Lidia!
Roberto, I saw you arriving through the window.
How you have grown up! Ah real, handsome young gentleman!
You also look good.
I was just exploring the house.
Go, we'll see each other later.
I'll be right back. -Ok!
I bet the boys' room is called the television room now.
Alfredo and I were sleeping here.
He was older, but I always had to go in first, to switch on the light.
Aunt Lidia was sleeping here.
She's living across him and she's called Valeria.
The poor thing caught him negotiating:
2000 - No 3000 - Oh come on please, Aida... She's called Aida, uncle. A woman!
With a white lock. Join us! I was just telling about your fiancé...
I'm not engaged. -Oh, yes, sorry. She doesn't know it yet.
That drives me mad! -well done!
Woe betide you if you touch that clock! Bruno stops it and he say's well done!
It makes me think about when I was a kid.
But it's a nice piece.
Shall we do business? 50.000 lire for that thing.
You pusher! I'll make it 60.000 for that little clock.
I'd rather give it away.
You wouldn't! -Word of honour!
One would say that he is the nephew and I am the stranger.
My husband doesn't smoke!
But he is now, isn't he? It's celebration day today.
I'd rather have my own.
He had them in his pocket, the rascal!
There we have our Occhiofino, always neat and attentive, like a good housewife
Uncle Michele, but that Occhiofino... Did you see that, Roberto. He denied.
I have an office in the middle of Tarquina and plenty of work.
Did you know that Alfredo already counselled in Viterbo once?
We all went to listen to his counsel's speech.
Now what is Bruno up to this time?
Robertino was right to study law.
When you finish, you'll do just like me:
you'll open your own office in Rieti. Who's gonna touch you!
Within a few years, you'll drive Fiat 1500, just like me!
You'll sure find a firm woman, like Luisa.
No, that would be too much.
Sit still, otherwise I might hurt you.
Now look what a beautiful almond-eye
And now the hair. In Rome women put on a wig to make it look longer.
You have such beautiful hair and are hiding it away.
We are not in Rome here.
Loose and soft: you can do that here. In Rome they'll pick you up!
Daddy, you're a dope with those farmers.
If undersigned wasn't holding them down, they would rob him of his shirt!
Farmers are animals. The more you indulge, the more they demand.
So you shouldn't make any concession! Then they won't have anything to demand either.
Exactly. Cousin Alfredo is a real democrat.
Do you remember, in Montalto di Castro?
I arranged a meeting there.
I spoke about the demagogic politics of the current central-left government...
...related to the large landowners.
Principally their problems...
... were vigorously solved by the Fascist pary, that did not solely...
Hey Roberto, do you see that? Alfredo is not the son of uncle Michele at all,...
... but the Steward's.
You are crazy! -Take a good look: they are precisely alike.
Same frame, same upper-lip. They even have the same tic of the hand.
Aunt was eating uncle with her eyes, but she went to bed with the Steward!
Ah, there's a piano here!
Aunt Enrica with the Steward!
Yes, Bruno is right.
Maybe uncle even knows,
maybe already back then
Dear uncle, how happy he was, when he showed me that foal.
And Alfredo...
...with a firm woman always having her husband act as a spokesperson.
Sorry to interrupt this family scene, but it's getting late.
Roberto, completely in higher atmospheres?
We have been here for three hours!
Stay for dinner! -No, we have to get going.
Goodbye.
Hey, not in a crossed way, cousin!
I will accompany you. -There's really no need to.
You see, the steward also takes the trouble.
You from Rome must surely know how Sophia Loren is doing.
The Loren? As far as I am concerned...
...she is positioned between the Etruskian grave mounds and the Monte Fumaiolo.
I'll explain that some time.
I'll send somebody for that clock.
Huggs! Alfredo, watch out for the farmers, èy?
Roberto, aren't you saying goodbye to your aunt? -Goodbye aunt Enrica!
Watch the bonnet. Another minute in that morgue and I would have exploded.
The countryside? You're mad!
Don't you think I had better not joined you on your family visit?
No, why?
it's just that everybody has a wrong memory of his youth.
Do you know why we say it was such a beautiful time?
We don't remember a single thing about it!
What is that? Let's have a look for a moment?
A rural party! Farmers dancing the twist!
Look at that one with the glasses!
And the guy with that hat! He's had eight hours of ploughing.
That's how I like you! When you laugh you're much nicer. Dispose of those sad things.
Do you know what is the most beautiful age?
The age you have now, day after day! Until you die of course.
I have quite some comrades and acquintances in Rieti and also in Rome,
but I am starting to find out that it's easier to become a friend of a complete stranger.
Then listen to this complete stranger: what is the name of that girl again?
Valeria.
After she returns from vacation, you will accost her and have a conversation with her!
Don't act so stupid, you'll end up being a lone wolf in ten years.
Just a sec.
I have to take a leak.
Still I never had a real friend either.
What are you doing here?
Did I give you a fright?
I'll say nothing: you decide: Rome or Castiglioncello?
I would say Rome. -But we'll arrive there at night.
I have friends in Castiglioncello and it's just around the corner. We'll eat something and drive off.
We'll arrive fit and well in Rome tomorrow morning.
Now who was to decide? -Yes, but in a reasonable way!
And what would be this way? -My way.
Well, you decide then. -Great, I already decided.
Last year I came across a lady from Turin here, who's radiator had boiled dry.
I offered her a ride to get water.
She gets in, we talk a bit and arrive at a motel.
In short: instead of asking for water we were asking for a room!
Why don't those nutcases go out of the way!
Where do you want to go with that little Fiat?
Is he drunk?
A danger on the road!
Should we smash your face? -You bunch of Road hogs!
Did you see how they cut you in? -Watch out, dad, it's them again!
Out of the way when Bruno comes by!
When I catch those two...!
Nice spot, ey? The sea air, the pine trees...
I would like to live here. That is, for a few hours.
Do you pull a fast one on me now, little lawyer? It clicks between us, doesn't it?
In Rome I'll introduce you to my mother and we'll see each other every night.
"Il Cormorano", now what would that be?
A bird. He dives into the water and catches fish with his pecker.
It means they have fresh fish here.
Let's have some more fish soup.
Hey, Cortona, what are you doing here?
Good evening Commendatore, how are you?
Weren't you supposed to be in Calabria? -Something intervened.
It's never possible to make any appointment with you Romans!
Let's have something to eat here. I'll explain to you.
Just a moment, I'll be right back.
Sorry Roberto, I'm in a mess. I still owe this guy a service.
I'll get rid of him within five minutes. Will you wait here, or join us with dinner?
Bruno, I am going back to Rome. -How?
There will probably be a train that goes. -Even so late?
Whatever you like, but if you don't go join us with dinner.
Otherwise I'll call you in Rome. Sorry, and thank you for your company!
First takes me to the end of the world, and then leaves me in the lurch!
"Join us with dinner." Well thanks! And still saying it clicks between us!
Can you tell me where the station is?
Straight ahead, behind that big road. At least, yesterday it was.
I beg you pardon...
Where is this train heading for? -It's the slow train to Pisa.
Will there be one that goes to Rome? -Tomorrow morning, at 5.07 hour.
That is Valeria! How is that possible? I thought she was in Viareggio!?
Valeria!
Great! That's a very old trick.
Sorry, it's not a trick. You look very much like a girl that I know. Really.
I bet I do!
You were also to leave? Or were you waiting for someone?
I'm waiting for my fiancé, but he didn't come.
I had to go to Rome, but there won't be any train till tomorrow morning.
It is quite coincidental that I am here.
Actually I had to study for my exam: administrative law.
In order to become just like my nephew Alfredo.
What are you thinking about? -Nothing really. What a moon!
Are you here with your family? -Yes, we come here every year.
Next year as well? -I think so.
Where are you from?
What a cross-examination. And tomorrow you'll have forgotten everything.
I'm from Turin.
You as well? -Why? Do you know a lot of girls from Turin?
No, a female friend of mine is living there. -Are you in love?
No, I met her last year, along the road.
Her radiator had boiled dry. -and you were allegedly there to help.
How is it possible: do you really all think about the same thing?
I just helped her and that was it. No "so called" help.
Should people always end up in bed according to you?
You could always eh... have a chat together, like the two of us now.
Sure! Much nicer!
Clara! -Gino!
What are you doing there! -Well I'm sorry, that's my brother.
We had something like an appointment. I forgot about that. Bye.
Bye.
Be careful a bit, will you?
Do you know that joke about two blacks in Paris?
I don't even know them.
I think I'll stay here.
Everything to your liking sir? -I am waiting for a friend.
I will sit down, thank you.
They could easily ask 20.000 lire for a mail here.
My husband is right: you can't be trusted.
Is that how he talks about me?
He was referring to business then. It keeps him awake at night.
But what were yòu referring to?
Your way of dancing. You press harder than a pair of pinchers.
Sorry, that wasn't intentional. -It wasn't a reproach.
On cash payment, is my motto. It's all about money.
I warn you: if you pinch too hard, I will get excited.
I wouldn't like your husband to get excited.
Are you worried about business too? -No, I try to pacify.
I'll see you tomorrow then.
Take it easy.
I don't throw my money into the water!
Warm here, innit?
Don't hang around my neck like that. I can't keep that up.
A natural reaction.
I have been by myself since my childhood.
Poor thing!
Nice tigerteeth! -Nobody ever told me that before.
You are a hard one, aren't you?
With those tigerteeth.
And you also have... -Bastard!
There he is!
You criminal! We found you! -Who are you? What do you want?
Are you the one of that sports car? You almost killed us!
Was there a sign saying it's forbidden to overtake?
You better thank god that you're already so old.
Look, Commendatore.
How dare you? Aiming at the liver!
You behave yourselves!
Gianna!
The check please!
Take it easy.
I am warning you. You better let go off me now.
I was supporting you!
Maybe that gravedigger thought he was The Piccoli?
I am sorry. I even didn't know those madmen. Are you leaving?
Good evening, Commendatore. Madam, all the best.
Those boors don't even salute, as if it was my fault!
What the heck. Come sit down over here.
They even took the cigarettes!
What were they eating? Crème caramel. Mamma mia, what a trash.
Thank you, Roberto. You were a real friend! -I could have stepped in earlier.
But I was afraid. -Wild animals they were!
Damn.
I was doing so well with that blonde.
The bastards! I wasn't allowed to overtake them!
As if you can compare a Fiat 600 with a Lancia Aurelia Sport!
Waiter, a bottle of whisky. How much do you have on you?
When I left home, I had 30.000 lire.
You pay then. And remind me I still owe you 5000.
No, no. -Why not?
And now we drink this!
Hygienics!
Drink!
What are you sitting there? -Come on, drink.
Do you get it: a 600 and an Aurelia!
Avoided well.
Rounded that tree well.
Slowly, a bend to the left. That tree, slowly!
Brake!
We're there. Gee, you are drunk!
C'mon, switch off that thing.
But I'm not drunk! You are!
Alright, I am. But be a good boy now right?
Nobody's home. -Yes there is.
But decent people are always asleep at this time.
What do you know about decent people? -Look, there they are already.
Be a well-mannerd boy. -Calm...
Stop laughing! I am known here. Act normal.
Walk straight!
Hi, Gianna, were you already asleep? Sorry. -Definitely!
May I introduce you to a friend? Roberto, this is my wife.
Pleased to meet you, madam.
What's there to laugh about? Put off those glasses. I don't know what's wrong with him.
It's a lawyer, a serious person. -I can see that!
We were in the neighbourhood and I said to my friend: let's...
... drop by... -I'll prepare the room.
That's not necessary, Gianna. We already booked a hotel.
C'mon, stop it.
You make me look silly. You look like a little boy.
Sorry Gianna, for all the commotion!
What do you say? Not bad, right?
You should have seen her a few years ago! -Can I scrounge a nip of your whisky?
No, you drank enough already. -No, no, I am kind of used to it.
Is this your real wife? -Sure is, don't you believe me?
Why didn't you say so earlier? -You didn't ask about it.
I was 20 at the time. We were in trouble and rushed into a marriage.
And then? Come on, mister Cortona, the truth and nothing but the truth!
And then nothing... One day she jilted me. Maybe it didn't click.
Maybe she was also jealous. Not of some woman...
... but of my Cisitalia. She said I loved my car more than I loved her.
And did you? -A bit yes.
But we stayed good friends.
You can't be thinking that I transfer 50.000 lire to her every month? Not a lire!
Right now I hadn't shown up for six years.
No, a good woman.
One day she sent me 600.000 lire to give to a gentleman,
for the separation.
But... I didn't give them.
I don't know, I didn't want a definite break of the bond.
And the 600.000?
Did you keep them? -Yes!
Good! Well done!
No, really a firm woman; she's got things fixed up.
She never needed anybody. She works at an advertising agency in Pisa.
And every summer she comes here, with the...
By the way, Gianna. Where is the small one? -She's not there.
Why not? Where is she? -Out.
Out? Are you crazy?
A child still wanders about at one o'clock at night and you don't say a thing about it?
I'll make myself very clear when she comes home! I am the father and I have the right, the duty...
May I take a bath?
Have you noticed how I look? You see me like this and you don't ask about anything.
What is so strange about it? You're progressing.
Three years ago you arrived in a ski suit with you leg in plaster.
Now he leaves us alone! What should I say?
Sit down. Do you know each other for a long time?
Nee, since this morning. -So you know him well.
The first impression that you got from him, is the right one.
When I met him in 1945, he was dressed in an officers uniform of the navy.
Bruno, an officer in the navy? -No, but he liked the uniform so much.
It is still a pitty that you and Bruno...
I will never go back to Bruno. No even dead.
I feel for him what a mother feels for a child that is a bit...
let's say: that is a bit the black sheep of the flock. -He doesn't look like a black sheep to me.
A matter of how you look upon it.
There is Lilli. Please stay seated, I'll take care of her.
I want to talk to her.
And I have a bone to pick with that boy too!
Great! But it is also that last time you drive 180km/h.
Hi Bruno, where are you coming from?
Hi mom. -Hi Lilli.
Lilli, come over here. Show yourself to me.
What have you been doing? You changed. -I have to grow, don't I!?
Good evening.
May I? I am Lilli's father.
My name is Danilo Borelli. -Pleased to meet you.
A friend of yours?
Roberto Mariani. -Mariani, no, I don't know a Mariani.
You must be from Rome?
I never like going to Rome.
It is sad and damp, and the people there don't want to work.
Sorry, that's my opinion. In every other city people stay who they are:
A Genoese stays a Genoese. A Florentine a Florentine.
But in Rome everybody becomes a Roman within three days.
So what? -What have you been doing tonight?
We made a wonderful ride:
Punta Ala, Cecina, Livorno, Viareggio, Forte dei Marmi.
Wow, all in one evening?
Yes, we wanted to go to Taormina, but it was getting late.
Typically Roman: always putting down others.
That's how you say those kind of things innit?
Don't get me wrong: we have our mistakes as well.
Like babbling in someone else's house, at two o'clock in the morning.
Madam, mister Cortona, Good evening.
Bye Lilli. -I'll show you out, Bibì.
Bibì?
Drive carefully!
And where is the grandson?
Which grandson? -Couldn't he come?
Why were you dropped by a such a grandpa?
Your friend may laugh about this kind of jokes, I don't.
If you had a bit sense of humour, you wouldn't go out with such a type.
Such a type sure's got things fixed up right for himself. He worked very hard,
built up a position and has everything in store to make a woman happy.
Apart from the fact that you are not a woman, but a girl.
Do you realize that he could have a daughter that is suitable for your father?
False hope: he is single.
I am sorry. I'll clean it up. -Just leave it.
So you want to make me believe you are in love with that wreck.
I value him very high and I prefer him above all boys of my age.
They are stupid, superficial and full of imagination. Seem to think they are superman.
The world is full of unsuccessful love-marriages. Plenty examples.
In Januari Bibì will start working in America. He'll take me along,
will enrol me for Harvard, have me follow a PR-course,
and employ me in one of his factories, as head chemical research.
Quite a programme!
So you also smoke now? And you approve of that? -Yes, why?
No, nothing, just go on like this. We'll see where it ends.
And if you want to honour us with your presence: we are getting married at Christmas.
If only he'll make it till then! He's already eighty!
That's too crazy! Even in India they wouldn't invent such a couple.
In Rome they hate working: just as if he's the only one that works!
That smart ass, what's his name? Bibì.
Did you hurt yourself? -No, it's nothing.
Bibì seems a good person to me. -Somebody who dates fifteen year old girls.
A degenerate! Not a good person! Don't you say something about it, Gianna?
It's better to marry a man of 80 than one of twenty.
I'm going to bed. Sleep well.
Bibì, is he pekinese or something?
Can I come in? -Do you need something?
No, I can't sleep. I'm worried about Lilli.
A sleepless night, once in three years, that should be supportable.
Yes, three years. But I think about the two of you very often. Honestly.
Really?
Did you tell her not to call me dad anymore?
Why would I?
She calls me Gianna as well and I see her a little bit more often.
But is she intimate with you? Does she tell you everything? Like...
being...
You know what I mean.
No, she doesn't, but I know all about her, because I care about her.
Such things always fall on the shoulders of the mother anyway.
What about you Gianna, still single? -I'm fine like this. I don't need anybody.
Well, ok, excuse me, you're still young and beautiful.
You also have the right to...
The last time must be at least fifteen years ago. Seems like yesterday to me.
Maybe it's because of your bath rope: I smell you.
Please be sweet to me, Gianna. I'm always dogged by bad luck.
What did I enter for again? Ah, eh, do you have a cigarette?
Excuse me! Sleep well.
We'll go deeper into the subject tomorrow.
Roberto.
Wake up. What's up?
Guess what. -Get up, we're leaving.
Why?
We're going to sleep some place else. The heat and the mosquito's here...
And there's another thing: you know that me and my wife life are living apart.
If they find out that we are sleeping in the same house,
it could give trouble with the divorce. Come on, walk.
What did I do wrong?
You know, if I had a brother, I would prefer to have one like you.
Tonight we would be having a fight.
Do you know that Jewish saying? My grandma always told it.
The love for a woman is fickle as the moon.
Brotherly love is firm like the stars. It's good right?
Wasn't that a killer? Put this thing up for me, will you?
Now please help me a bit, stay awake. Look, we've got everything here:
open sky, starry sky... Too bad I forgot the cigarettes.
So your grandma was Jewish?
Why? Are you a racist? -No no. Are you?
You don't know me then!
You really don't have a cigarette? Oh, I forgot, you don't smoke.
You are a funny guy: you don't smoke, you don't drink or you're drunk at one,
and you can't even drive. How do you keep it up? Do you really enjoy life?
Sometimes I feel that I am different.
But I can't do anything about it: I feel inhibited.
So you should de-inhibit! Go for it, just like me.
It is not easy. I always look first where I am going to land.
And so I don't go for it. I am a dork.
No, not a dork. You are a good guy. I'm such a silly goose.
Good, we'll talk about it tomorrow.
What's up? Do you have a cigarette?
Go away!
How many tickets? -Three.
And you? -Three.
Do you think she's beautiful?
Who?
She was just passing by, the girl with that little dog! Everybody thinks she's beautiful.
She is not the only one.
Where did you sleep? -In a ... pension.
At Assumption? You're lucky! -Yes, we were lucky.
If you're looking for your friend: he's over there, standing on his head.
The world is more beautiful like this.
Shall I do it with one hand?
Who are you?
Childsplay.
Hey Cleopatra, are you gonna take my picture?
Are you nuts? Don't you recognize me?!
Why do you put on that thing? Blond looks much better on you.
Still you're chasing brunettes. -Oh come on, I recognized you straight away!
Give that to me, I'll put you on the picture.
Look that way, don't move!
Now the other side for a moment.
Ready!
I'll send it to you. -Yes please.
Where were you hiding? -I was looking for you.
Hey, young Werther. Are you joining us on the boat?
Come on. -No, we have to leave.
Ten minutes, just a little sun. You're still so pale, you look like a corpse!
Do you need a hand, madam?
Don't waste your time, Bruno! She's still only fifteen.
Come on, stiffy! Some gymnastics!
It's gonna be 200 in the shadow!
Goodbye, lazy buggers!
Who is that handsome man? -My dad.
What's wrong with this one? No beard yet, and so shy.
I think I like him. -Yes, but he says nothing.
You don't like that?
Proposal: lasagna wit pesto in Portofino!
You want to go to Portofino now? Why not? It's just an idea.
What do you want, darling? -Nee, I can't. I want to get off.
Alessandro, set course for Portofino! I'll give you two hours.
No. -Why not?
Because!
They are in charge and you can't fire them!
The same misery as with the maids
You know, Lilli, I'm glad I have a daughter like you.
You are intelligent, determined, sure of yourself.
Me? Self-confident? Don't be mistaking!
I don't resemble you in this case. Mom says you're a born winner.
Whereas I have the feeling sometimes that I'm walking in the dar, arm in arm...
with somebody without arms... do you understand? That's why I want to live in certainty.
Only when I'm alone, you know, I think a lot about you, dad.
That will pass, you'll see. Sometimes, when I'm alone...
but then...
That Bibì may not be that exciting, but he is reliable.
Yes, don't you think? You'll see that with him...
Hey, why don't you stay a while at my place?
If you visit me in Rome, I'll make sure you'll amuse yourself.
I'll take you out dancing.
But where?
I can't be a father to you.
Somebody else could in my place talk to you, explain things to you.
You just stay the same. Please, dad.
Did I scare you? The water is so nice.
Am I disturbing? -Of course not.
Did you have something going on? Why not? -Heck I don't know.
When are we leaving? -Straight away, after swimming.
Are you never able to relax? Are you bored everywhere?
Ah, eh, you have to lend me some money for gas, all the riding has made me run out of gas completely.
Beautiful boat innit? Those northeners are rolling in money.
Do you know what Lilli told me? That sometimes she thinks about me, quite frequently even,
and that she takes me for a winner. It's not clear what I win,
but it's still nice. She even called me 'dad'. Sweet huh?
You are in a good mood today. -I was just thinking about you.
It's about the future of my daughter.
Did you already talk to Lilli's mom?
Of course, family conference all night!
I am not the type that chases girls.
I even don't have the time for it!
Of course I don't imagine myself that Lilli is in love with me.
but it's a firm girl and she'll lack nothing.
Therefore I say... -"Therefore"! It might be easy for you!
I had a difficult life. First the war, then my marriage.
The best years have been taken away from me. Only in 1956 I broke a leg.
It's not easy having to take the bus on your 36th.
An honest man shouldn't be ashamed of that.
The busses are full of honest people, but on a given time...
I honestly say: I prefer to have a beautiful boat like yours!
That's ok right? It's like I resent you your luck.
How is your cold? -Already a bit better, thank you.
Look, you say you can support my daughter,
But if I'd ask you to borrow me 50.000 lire just like this, would you do it?
Joking!
Bruno...
Yes, I get it. Let me enjoy the sea for five more minutes!
Are you new here? May I have your autograph?
I already have one of Peppino di Capri and of minister Andreotti.
Where should I put it? -Here.
Thank you!
My condolances madam, I heard...
Thank you, Vinicio. The pear-juice is for me.
The pepsi-coce for you. And the ice coffee? -For me.
Madam, you still have to pay an orange soda.
That I brought to your cabin yesterday.
There there! First he acts like I'm wearing a diamond watch
and now I must even pay for the orange soda! -There is no more religion.
Didn't you order antything? -Ice coffee, but it's alright.
Why didn't you say something about it?
If you want to swim: there's should be some swimming trunk in cubicle 15.
No, we will be leaving soon. It's already nine o'clock.
You watch has stopped. It's already past one.
Take a look at Bruno!
Come on! Bravo!
Catch me!
Bye sweety, I'll call you in rome. -Bye silly billy.
Say hello to your husband from me!
If you work in the city all year long, a bit of water-skiing is just what you need.
Precisely.
What are you gonna do? Are you gonna tell pool attendant that the ice coffee was yours?
Something like that.
Yes, I asked for Viareggio.
Hello, Pension Albatros?
Could I talk to Miss Nisi? Valeria Nisi.
N-I-S-I.
Yes, I'll wait.
Hello, Valeria?
She's not there? Won't she be taking lunch?
Tell her: a friend from Rome.
Her mother? No, please don't.
That's ok, thank you.
Excuse me.
This will floor you, Bibì.
Your dad is pretty good at it. -Come on, son-in-law!
19!
19 - 18.
Come on, Bruno. -I lost my concentration.
Nice one! -19 equal.
20 - 19.
Bravo! -Should I serve?
You won!
Bravo daddy!
You slaughtered me.
You lost the bet! 50.000 lire. Cash down please.
Comfort yourself Bibì: that was the same money you just won from me with poker.
Some 10.000 lire for you. Why not? You are paying for everything since yesterday.
I'll have a nice shower and then we'll go to rome at a gallop.
Cigarette? Thank you.
How far is it to Viareggio? -Did you call Valeria?
Yes. -Good! That's how I like you!
But she wasn't there. She was having lunch on the beach.
Then that is where we will go! -I don't want to take advantage of you.
What do you mean take advantage? I'm one of the family in Viareggio! Come on!
But maybe it won't work. -It always works!
Do you know where my daughter went to? -She joined Bibì on the boat, to Elba.
Did they just leave like this?
Shall we stop in Calafuria? I'll nevertheless have you taste a fish soup then!
Come on! -Will we sleep in Viareggio tonight?
I don't know, we'll see. -Now you're talking: no plans!
Faster!
That's right, little lawyer! You see: now you are de-inhibited!
Who rides in front of us there? Overtake!
With you I experienced the two most beautiful days of my life. Really!
Good day to you!
Overtake!
Watch that wall!
It doesn't have a good pick-up today.
Easy!
Hope this helps a bit.
Was he related to you?
His name was Roberto.
I don't know his family name. I only know him since yesterday.